Monday, July 23, 2012
RELEVANT CAT OF THE WEEK FOR 07.20.2011: GLAMOUR GIRL
GG was going on a joy ride in her horse and buggy around the sweet twisted gas ribbon a the center of the Milky Way in her best Shirley Manson wig with the singing robot (I'm Only Happy When it Rains, duh) who looks frighteningly similar to a male masturbatory tool (He's a nice guy, but she tries not to look at him...) to celebrate Garbage's new album when she's suddenly all like "OH SHIT, COPPERS!" She's pretty sure that they're only after her cause of littering; she did, after all, steal all of the documents Aaron Swartz downloaded from JSTOR and actually released them to the public, even for those without computers (She's got pretty radical politics for a kitten), but she freaks out and throws away what's left of her Charlie Sheen anyway, just to be safe. Unfortunately, while she's looking back at the flashing police lights, she catches a glimpse the UFOs that were over London a few days ago carrying Atlantis back home in its coffin. (Btdubs, if you had to click that link, you're not allowed back on this page.) She sheds a few, solemn tears (can't get too sad; she's happy when it's complicated), because she always thought she'd be going up to Mars and chillaxin with some aliens via an American Space Shuttle, and she's, like, REALLY bad at Russian. But it's cool; she's got an entire package of bath salts to hold her over. Party time. BAM, RELEVANCE.
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